I think big change requires a big thought process. It deserves respect. Particularly as the older you get the more unlikely you are to be able to make snap decisions. Having a wife, a husband, kids means you have a responsibility that can’t be ignored. I think it is this fact that makes change so scary and is the major reason why I buried my head in the sand for such a long time.
Eventually circumstances forced me to accept that change was required in some form. Once I had done that I was able to start thinking in greater detail about what that meant. I was able to provide some structure to the decision making process and devise a series of steps that I had to go through to develop my thinking and reach some sensible, thought out decisions.
The first step in the process is therefore accepting that some form of change is required. This will come easy to you if the level of your dissatisfaction is high. However, for me and many others who are plodding along, providing for themselves and their families, the need for change is harder to accept. The primary reason this is so difficult is fear. Fear of letting your family down, letting yourself down, fear of failure, to name just a few.
You potentially fall into this category if you find yourself thinking some of the following:
- I should be grateful for what I have.
- There are many other people far worse off than me.
- If I could start again I would try…
- I have to make the best of what I’ve got.
Now, there is nothing wrong with this thinking. For instance, understanding that there are people worse off than you is a very healthy thing. That is unless you are using such thoughts to supress the fact that you crave a better life; using the thoughts to talk yourself out of striving for something better. This then becomes an unhealthy situation, forcing you down a path that leads to regret, resentment and unfulfilled ambitions. You must overcome that fear and to do that you need to be honest with yourself.
So maybe the first step is honesty and the second step is acceptance. Only then can you start to move forward.
In my next post I’ll follow up on this and talk you through how I got to where I am now. In the meantime, take a look at this blog for inspiration. It’s certainly helped me. I particularly like the post entitled All you have is time.